THE TOLERANT PEOPLE

In a desert plain in Tanzania, in the shadow of volcano Ol Donyo Lengai, there is a dune made of volcanic ash. The feature which makes it the cynosure is that, it moves bodily. Technically known as “Barchan”; the entire dune walks across the desert in a westerly direction at a speed of about 17mts/year. The wind blows the sand up the shallow slope on the side and then as each sand grain hits the top of the ridge, it cascades down on the inside of the crescent and thus the whole horn-shaped dune moves. This dune effectively symbolizes the life of any individual in his 50’s.

            The ominous period which displays the past glories, is equally a light house of future worries. The changing trends, change in living standards, mass media, spirit of realism, spirit of compromise and pragmatism have all contributed equally in defining the 50’s of one’s age, all the more crucial. The essentialities being dealt with it turns out to be the greatest concern of the period. Of all the twitching factors; Disconnection of one’s matured children gains primacy. This is the stage when the individual realizes and recognizes his children to be grown up, physically, psychologically and professionally. The children start taking decisions on their own and show resentment which sends mixed feelings to the parents in question. The 50’s is a stage which witnesses a host of burgeoning important decisions in their child’s life; at least in the Indian context, which is yet to embrace the total individualistic culture of the west. Other than the development of indifference shown by the children, the decision of their marriage is the greatest dissonance producer of the period. This can be manifested in greater severity and can be inimical if the children are the proponents of love-marriages. The fast disappearing arranged marriages has also its share of concern, thanks to the decision-paralysis caused due to the paradox of choices.

            If the indifference of one’s pedantic children were the pushing factors; Compassion demanding old parents, acts as the pulling factor. If one has enjoyed the company of parents at the time of happiness, what is that restricts him from spending time with them in old age (read distress).This rationale working out at the level of super-ego tends to give immediate conformity to their demands. But, the change in the behavior of old people which includes increased stubborn nature, greater reliance on text than on context, fear of isolation, overly time-consciousness, religious adherence to specific  food-schedules, ego-defenses, etc. inadvertently puts enormous pressure on the people who are looking after them and are in their middle age. This essentially is another factor which induces the virtue of tolerance. Ubiquitous work pressures works out as the third important dimension of the theory. This is the period when the individual holds the highest offices in his career, which calls for greater commitment, responsibility and time. The individual in their 50’s who work in perilous atmosphere take a direct hit from their professional side in terms of work pressures. This is a period where he needs to guide, direct and motivate the sub-ordinates along with efficient conformity and effective interaction with the superiors. This is also the period where the inter and intra departmental politics is at the all time high and where speculative colleagues wait for any miniscule errors which renders one to be easily castigated and thereby humiliated. The finality of these pressures leads to the fourth dimension - the inevitable retirement. Psychological studies conducted around the globe, show that retirement is the state which produces maximum dissonance in a human being, after deathbed. Retirement steals away the identity of the individual. This identity crisis ricochets to the next factor; De-individualization of self. ‘Self’ which is an actor, guiding thoughts, feelings and actions, loses its significance and succumbs to the pressure of other two generations. This surrender of both the subjective and the objective self for the family good is outwardly manifested as tolerance. The final factor which magnifies the tolerance of the 50’s is the courage-vulnerability paradox. The word courage comes from the Latin word ‘cor’, meaning heart and the original definition is ‘to tell who you are with your whole heart’. But, unfortunately 50’s is an age in the lives of individuals where the courage takes backseat, which inevitably has become the cosmic law and, makes the individual vulnerable and not venerable. The extraneous pressures are so high that the people in their 50’s are willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were. They fully embrace vulnerability. They believe that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful.

            This is the group of people who are always ignored, a group that stands out as a conundrum, a group always in a predicament, a group always ready to strike a Faustian bargain, a group caught in between bellicosity and rigidity of two generations, a group that is highly self-actualized, a group that is the life-force power of the society, a group that galvanizes the lives of near and dear ones, a group that imbues new ray of hope to both the generations, a group that projects more and more peace into the world, a group that clearly displays the Christian ‘Agape’, a group that embellishes human life and maintains the balance of the universe, they are the moving sand dunes of Tanzania, they are the silent directors of the show. The tolerance continues, the show goes on.